i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if only i could text you this smell
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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