What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
