Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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