I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
