nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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