So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
