If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
