ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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