i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
