I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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