I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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