is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
