Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
