think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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