these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
