I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
