Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
