Dual....:-)
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
