I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize