and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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