Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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