I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize