okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Boobs are out for the taking
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
