he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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