I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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