we're chasing vodka with high fives
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
