Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
