Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This baby is an asshole
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.