ADVERTISEMENT

• (816): View more from Missouri

  Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina

  Fav 93 28719 1478

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?

  Fav 44 1765 5931

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (251): View more from Alabama

  She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.

  Fav 15 6758 964

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.

  Fav 9 4091 1497

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

  Fav 13 6499 1709

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!

  Fav 14 3361 1295

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (239): View more from Florida

  I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

  Fav 1 1462 844

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home

  Fav 2 648 1231

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer

  Fav 2 988 670

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Talking to him sober hurts my brain

  Fav 2 563 577

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic

  Fav 2 1089 375

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?

  Fav 3 517 350

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.

  Fav 1 345 137

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just pictured that. It's reading a book.

  Fav 1 338 250

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup

  Fav 1 62 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize