One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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