I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...