...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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