I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
