And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
