the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize