Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Is it because I queefed?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
