hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
