But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
