Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
