and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
