i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
