i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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