there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
