Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
