All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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