Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
