ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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