He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize