His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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