Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
