Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
babies were throwing up all over the place
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
