NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
