Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
