Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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