I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i've created a new STD.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
