I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
