I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's always time for handjobs
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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