Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
