Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
