I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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