I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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