I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
