Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
