when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
