It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
