I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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