What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize