No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish you could order shots online.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
