you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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